50 ways to leave your lover

Like Roger, Paul Simon is also a Libra. Paul wrote this song after his divorce to his first wife, Peggy Harper. Apparently the song is a mistress's advice to a poor,compromised married man who has one leg in his marriage and the other's in bed with his mistress. She is gently nudging him out of his marriage. Of course Roger has probably had several discussions of this sort, having had a few serious affairs.

Whilst the song boasts 50 ways to leave your lover, Paul only supplies about four.

"Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan,
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free.
Hop on the bus,Gus
You don't need to discuss much.
Just drop off the key,Lee
And get yourself free...

Luckily Rosecrans Baldwin of "The Morning News" gives a few more colorful ways to give the ol'e ball and chain the slip. These seem quite useful for those scorned and seeking some illegal means of retribution.
Here are some of my favourites....

"Feed her to a shark, Mark"
"Harvest his kidney, Cindy"
"Chop off his organ,Morgan"
"Throw her down a gorge, George"
"Fake your own death, Beth"
"Bury her alive,Clive"
"Run him over with a trolley,Molly"
"Give her a double-barreled hug, Doug"

And I suppose the verse went something like this with Fluff...

You see my little darling, Rodge, that wife you simply must dislodge
We can do so much better than to hide in this dingy old Travelodge

His reply was probably something like this....

I say my little cream puff Fluff,  your'e sexy and so hot stuff,
Your'e right ...I must say to the old wife Iv'e had enough,
Cause life with her is so dang tough,

And out the door that Roger, slunk,
Leaving me in a hot blue funk!

Cause there 50 ways to leave your lover/wife/mother of your 5 children.