Lessons in Life

"It takes a village to raise a child", - an African Proverb


Tonight I think I'll talk about some of my feelings about having five wonderful children.I am quite used to the stares as the kids all bail out of the mothership,( their affectionate name for my van) one at a time, like some alien invasion. Questions like "Are these all yours?" are as common place as "What's the time?" When they were little I used to throw them all in the grocery cart as I began the shopping. As the grocery cart filled with the things on my list, I started to remove the children one by one, until the cart was full and I was left with the baby, N in the baby seat.


When people I know introduce me to other people, they feel duty bound to point out that I have FIVE CHILDREN. Once at a ladies book club meeting, the ladies gathered around amazed that I had mothered so many. ( In South Africa it is considered highly unusual) How do you do it?, they all asked. I guess I do things half as well as you, I said, and pointed to my toes. 5 of them were painted a pretty pink colour, the other 5 not.(oops)


   I often am amazed by them, they operate as their own little self contained community, not quite a village, but probably a small hamlet. There is a fair amount of "fair trade" operating in the Hamlet. D ( first son, 16  years old ) is determined to make it with the ladies. He has cottoned on to the idea, that guys who can play guitar, have an obvious advantage over those who are merely skilled at computer games. M has been playing guitar for several years, she is pretty good, so D has arranged to have guitar lessons from M. The two of them spend about an hour holed up together in her room, singing and strumming together. She has prepared a beginners file for him with all the songs he needs to learn. Hopefully there will be some he can use as he serenades Juliet from her balcony.

In exchange for the guitar lessons, D who is a wizz at Math gives M extra math tuition. Her maths marks have taken a death spiral into the 40 percent range ( unfortunately she has broken the heart of the math teacher's son, which does not help matters) Today the two of them very proudly came to interrupt the supper preparations to announce that together they had scored a 69 percent in M's latest maths test. I think the tutor was just as proud as the student.


K my eldest is the baker in the small hamlet. She makes pancakes for breakfast and delectable treats. Her bakers shop is always busy with requests from the other members of the Hamlet. She can play piano quite well, and is currently giving piano lessons to M in exchange for guitar lessons. She can be called upon to do numerous tasks, French plait hair, give advice on outfits before going out...typical of an eldest child she most often gives more than she gets.


M, my youngest boy, is an very  talented young man, who has an incredible sense of rhythm. He drums amazingly well on African Djembe drums as well as a drum set. Lately he has been drumming up business of  a different sort. He circulated a questionnaire to his prospective clients, ( all in the hamlet) They filled in the form stating what sort of things they would like in the shop, and taking out a loan from M, ( achy breaky heartbreaker of math teacher's son) of R50 and negotiating a deal with her so give her a percentage of his profits ( D's math's lessons must be paying dividends.) he went and stocked a big orange suitcase with supplies. This he sells to the villagers in the afternoon when they have the munchies and have too much homework to walk to the shop.


This little village, with it's principles of fair trade operates without any imput from me. ( Mayor/Town idiot - I'm not sure which) Here confidences and secrets are shared, along with jokes and advice about teachers and life.Tears are wiped away and turned into smiles, skills are readily shared and made use of.  I am amazed at times and overwhelmed at other times - I'm  raising a village, one child at a time.