My children have been with their dad for over a week now. I remember in the beginning how absolutely devastating it felt. The quiet house and tidy rooms made me feel empty and lonely. As a result I tended to frenetically spend time with friends and make sure that I never spent much time at home. I have continued that habit of having people over, of going to visit friends and of spending as little time at home alone as possible. I said goodbye to one great friend last night fairly late, we had been hanging out on my couch watching crime channel and movies on TV whilst eating ice-cream and my kicking hot chocolate sauce..
I climbed into bed and remembered how anguished I felt sleeping alone without anyone. I used to feel so sorry for myself. I was angry at Roger. Why did he leave ? I hated the fact that my bed was so empty.
I realized as I climbed beneath the covers that I no longer felt lonely, only alone. Alone is quiet and peaceful and glorious.It's contentment.When did my loneliness give way to aloneness? Since when have I started to make peace with aloneness? It's definitely the art of being definitively me AND I like it. I like it a lot. I could get used to this alone thing. It's worth embracing.
I found this poem on "You tube" about loneliness and being alone. It's fantastic.I wish I had seen it before. On second thoughts perhaps I wasn't ready for it's message then, but I am now! I hope you enjoy it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs&feature=player_embedded
I know exactly what you mean. I remember realising the same thing and feeling that peace and contentment settle over me. I am alone a lot, I do get lonely - but I am happy.
ReplyDeleteYes at times I feel lonely too, but there are more moments of being deliciously alone too.I'm always inspired by your blog! You seem like you have vast quantities of serenity.
ReplyDeleteInteresting blog, there's a lot of us getting used to being alone. I remember at first I felt embarrassed to be alone...like there was something wrong with ME!
ReplyDeleteLike you I kinda like being alone sometimes, coming and going as I please, having what I want, when I want it...it's just that sometimes it's nice to have someone with which to share.
Thanks Tempo.I hope it means interesting in a good way. It certainly is an adjustment. Hopefully you will find someone to banish the lonely times with.
ReplyDeleteI loved this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
Thank you Kate. You are so good for my blogger ego.
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