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Monday, March 1, 2010

Dollars and Nonsense

I'm not your typical heroine, gutsy and resourceful, I'm more of the patheticy hand wringing sort that hopes the solutions to life's problems will be whispered to me from the wings of the stage like the prompt at a school play. Iv'e always had some brave soul stepping up to the plate to take over from me and solve my problems. Now here I am, five chickens to look after and no-one to solve my problems for me. 

And here come the problems...who..? Me...? are you sure this is the right address??? Couldn't you problems go someplace else, I have had my fair share of the likes of you. Anyhow the problems keep showing up at my door addressed  to me. I have been sweeping them under the carpet, hoping they will disappear...but they insist they are here to stay. And good old panic is knocking at the door already...

The most frightening of the problems at the moment come to me in the form of plain old cash issues. Today Roger sms'ed me to say that he is having some financial difficulties and will let me know on Wednesday what his accountant says but it looks like he will have to downscale my maintenance. I am battling to keep my head above water as it is. I knew this day would come, Roger is notoriously bad with money and likes "the best" for himself. 

I was living in Canada when he decided to move in with another in-patient he met whilst receiving treatment for sexual addiction at the world renowned Meadows in Arizona.  She was in for depression and he was just the Rx she needed to get better, so they both checked out of treatment and he moved in with her to Florida. She was a millionaires who had inherited her millions from dear old daddy who had started a chain of stores, by the name of Johnston's I gather. Alison was her name. 

There I was, with only a visitors visa, unable to work or provide for the children. He was gone for about a year. He maxed out the credit card buying label wear for himself and holidaying in the Bahama's with his new found love. Eventually, he discovered that she really did have a serious depression problem and it became too much for him and he came back , to the sound of many creditors threatening him on a daily basis, he crashed and burned financially and still has the burden of that debt resting on his shoulders. 

I knew it was only a matter of time before his loser ways with money caught up with him again, Iv'e dreaded this moment when I would have to shoulder the financial burden of raising 5 kids on my own in this exorbitantly expensive, parched African soil. I have a teacher's diploma and teachers get paid pittance here and in most countries I am afraid to say. My salary covers the school fees and that is about it... eek!
What I do love about school is the holidays though and the fact that I am there for my children, any time they need me. Also I am so happy to be teaching N, it is such a privilege.  

However I have not enjoyed having to rely on dear old unreliable Roger....it is not comfortable leaning on a crumbly statue and I've wanted to be financially independent of Roger, it would please me no end to be able to provide comfortably for them with my own hands and not care about what happens to Roger and his finances. 

But how???
That is the question that begs asking ....and it's asking right now, 
and universe I am straining my ears to listen for an answer..... 

The song " I will survive" is blaring on the radio, perhaps that old universe is answering me in her strange old quirky way after all...



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