I've got the Queen of England all figured out!

So today was the last day of school and Roger had planned to pick up the kids seconds after the last note of "Lord Dismiss Us" was played. Of course, punctuality was never Roger's strength and true to form he arrived a good  hour later than promised, with suitable crisis as an excuse.

This time the games were on, as for the first time Fluff had accompanied him on his trip down to my lair. I say I'm all over him and wouldn't want him back, and I stand by that, but I must say I was curious. I have never really had a good look at Fluff.

I saw her briefly once in a car with Roger, as he whizzed passed me She struck a careless pose, hands behind head, perky breasts jutting out in a tight white tank top. ( This game has no rules)
The second time I saw her, she had her head firmly stuck in the window of a car, talking animatedly to it's contents, hoping to heck I wouldn't come and chat.

Of course who wouldn't want to see the other end of the woman you have been replaced with? Her derriere, I had a good look at, and while a good size or two smaller than mine, can hardly afford the nice French name  given it and is probably, on closer examination , merely a size ten ten pair of  buttocks, plain old buttocks!

So, like two no holds barred wrestlers, we eyed each other. I came up to the car to say my goodbyes to the kids. I gave her a cheery hello, she mumbled something not as cheery back. ( One point to me-Geez Louise, what have I done to her? )

I was a little disappointed, she is most plain. Her features are quite blunt and not at all what one would call pretty.( I know I'm beginning to sound like Jane Austen)  She had no make up on, and her hair was  carelessly pulled back in a pony tail. ( I hate to say it - one more point to me, in my judgement, I have the prettier face )

Ah, yes well her bod is definitely a few sizes less than mine - but heck I can lose weight... ( I great big point to her)

Her legs were freshly shaved, mine not quite so.... ( dong... a point to Fluff)  Note to self. Shave legs. Just the other day, my very honest second grader made the self same discovery. Kids like to play with your shoes and   legs etc during story time. One little boy stopped the story with a question he had obviously been toying with for a while, as Dick and Fanny traipsed up and down the Magic Faraway Tree. In all seriousness, he asked: "Mrs Scorn, why do you have thorns on your leg?"
" Thats because I'm a rose, " I replied.( We teacher's always have clever comebacks for situations like this)  But point taken ....

I noted that her toe-nails were prettily painted and quite well groomed. ( Ding)

So lets go over it all, cheerfulness under pressure, me, facial features, me, bod , Fluff, legs, Fluff, nails, Fluff. 3 points to 2. Not too bad.

Roger was complaining about the size of the trailer he had hired.He couldn't get another trailer and worried it would not be big enough. Fluff told him she thought it was cute. Attagirl Fluff.

So our goodbyes were said, while I was thoroughly ignored by dear old Fluff ( I was beginning to enjoy myself - )

The car  took off and I waved energetically to the kids. Heck! Major jiggling of the lower half of my arm. (Ding,ding,ding) My vanity had me in a death grip, I had to resort to something that very closely resembled the Queen's royal wave. Thats why I say, I have the Queen of England all figured out. She is every bit as vain as me!

Then. no car... One of my colleagues came by and gave me a big hug and it was there,my soft vunerable inner parts, no more Queen Bodicea stoicness in combat.   I fought back tears, heck I already miss my kids. It's gonna be a long holiday.