Out damn pity!

Well my friend self pity has made a nice cosy little spot for herself in my life. She spends her days by the fire, knitting some pity pantoffels.( slippers) She keeps me company,  prattling on about how hard things are for me. She reminds me that Roger still looks good, and has a lovely apartment by the sea with his 28 year old girlfriend  ( he's probably happier now than he has ever been ) He is a qualified doctor  and does his groceries a Woolies. She's quick to point out that I'm not 28 anymore, the extra pounds Ive put on since he bid his final adieu have not passed her by and my bank balance on this the 7th of the month ( with 5 growing kids to feed) has even had her conversing animatedly with her cousin, Panic.He may swing by at the end of the month for a visit. (or perhaps even sooner)

Panic and self pity were right there when the kids spotted a whole lot of grey hairs sprouting on my head, wish my eyesight was good enough to see properly....For all intents and purposes it feels like the end of a pacman game with the flashing lights saying "GAME OVER"

Yes, under similar circumstances many others would have given up their spare beds for "tannie Pity" too, as I have done. Circumstance reports predict that things are not about to change for a while, It will take more than a year of brutal self denial and self flagellation at the gym to remove the extra ponds denting my self-esteem and as for the financials ....

Iv'e noticed since Pity's been pottering around that Joy, and Hope and Gratitude seldom pop by. Peace has gone on some extended holiday and Bitterness has moved next door.  Perhaps Iv'e been foolish letting what appears to be a harmless old duck in my life, I should really choose my friends more wisely.What good can come out of this relationship? Her relatives lethargy, hopelessness, impotence and self-loathing are really a self defeating bunch.Do I really need them in my life?

Iv'e given that old Self - Pity her eviction notice. I need the space in my soul for growth and healing and a host of other positively powerful visitors that will encourage me and give me healing in my wings. I think I'll give Faith a call and see if she has time for a visit.....